A Little Potty Humor

I found this on another photography blog and thought it was rather fitting since we are a family with 4 women. Enjoy!

When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors. Every cubicle is occupied.> Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle. You get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!> The dispenser for the modern ’seat covers’ (invented by someone’s Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!) down with your pants and assume ‘ The Stance.> In this position, your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but having not taken time to wipe the seat or to lay toilet paper on it, you hold ‘The Stance.’> To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.> In your mind, you can hear your mother’s voice saying, ‘Dear, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!’ Your thighs shake more.> You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that’s still in your bag (the bag around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do, so you crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It’s still smaller than your thumbnail.> Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work.> The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet.> ‘Occupied!’ you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, while losing your footing altogether and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.> You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because you’re certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, ‘You just don’t KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.> By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs and into your shoes.> The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force and you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.> At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You’re exhausted. You try to wipe with a sweet wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.> You can’t figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting> You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?)> You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly, ‘Here, you just might need this.> As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men’s toilet. Annoyed, he asks, ‘What took you so long and why is your bag hanging around your neck?> This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with any public rest rooms/toilets (rest??? you’ve GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers that other commonly asked question about why women go to the toilets in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door.

Because he thinks I complain too much

I want to publicly announce that my husband is actually working on my kitchen floor as I type this. Looks like I will finally have a finished floor, no more shopvac"ing" the gaps between tiles, a floor I can actually mop!!! Hopefully images of the final project will be posted soon!

He is also promising to work on my new studio Sunday!! Hope he isn't coming down with something. I will go check his temperature!

News

Kids are in school! (thank goodness)

Miss Brainy got her cast off, will be in the boot for 3 weeks.

Little Buddy has a nasty eye infection.

The Chatterbox is trying out for another play.

Life is crazy!!

Willy Wonka Pictures

The Chatterbox brought home the c.d.'s with the images from the play last night so I thought I would get a few on here. I did not take these and I'm not sure who to credit them to, sorry. This was probably one of my favorite parts of the play, the choreography for this was very well done and the kids really knew what they were doing in the dark to put this giant spider together.

The chorus line.
The Chatterbox's singing solo!!
Veruca Salt and the squirrels
Here's The Chatterbox again!

The Chatterbox as part of the spider, she played many parts in this play, a squirrel, part of the river,a Candy Kid, and a spider leg.

Willy Wonka

I was able to go see the play that The Chatterbox is in, both Thursday and Friday nights. It was an awesome production. The kids really do a great job and you can tell the ones who truly love what they are doing. The Chatterbox was a Candy Kid, part of a spider, a chocolate river, a chef, and a squirrel. The little squirrel costumes were so cute, I will try to get a picture of her in it tomorrow. I was so proud of her as she had a small singing solo and a little bit of a tongue twister line. I wasn't able to get any pictures at the production, but they will be sending home a c.d. of images from the dress rehearsals and practices so I will try to get a few up here as soon as I can.

Little Buddy is 3

We had Little Buddy's Birthday Party last Sunday at Bryan's Parents house. Bryan and his Dad were in charge of the grill, so we had BBQ Ribs, shrimp-n-bacon, pepper poppers, grilled onions, and mushrooms. I decided to make his cake this year, so we didn't run the risk of an allergic reaction on at his party. As I was finishing up decorating the cake I accidentally dropped it and had to spend another hour "fixing" it. It doesn't look to bad in the pictures but I can tell where I had to fix it. The top or racetrack area actually splint in two and I had to Dr. it up as best as I could, with a ton of frosting. Ace of cakes I am not!!

He loved his pinata which was suppose to open up by pulling on the strings but all but one string fell out so we let them beat it with a bat. Badger Boy ended up breaking it open.

Happy Birthday Bry!

My sweet hubby's birthday is today and I will be off shooting a wedding, the so the girls and I got together to wish him a happy birthday this morning before he went to work. We filled his car with balloons and left messages written on his windows. I did take some pictures but didn't have enough time to get them on here, I'll try to do that another day.

Happy Birthday Mr. Crabby Bucket!

Isn't it about time for school to start?

When your 14 year old asks how to spell "rockstar" it is definitely time to go back to school!

Henry

Look at those lashes, chubby cheeks, blue eyes, and curls, you can plainly see why Mr. Henry (Bryan's cousin Kathy's son) needed a blog post all of his own. Lucky for him he lives over 6 hours away because if he didn't I would be bothering him with my camera all the time.

Fairy Mouse

Just a cute image that I was playing around with from my session with Jeff and Jaci.

AlleyCat's One!

I can't belive Miss AlleyCat is already one! She really got into eating her First Birthday cake, loved every bit of it!

She even did her signature, messy hands through her hair, when she was all done.

Pimp My Cast

I took Miss Brainy to Lincoln to get her gortex cast put on before her vacation with her Dad's family. She wanted to do some graffiti on it so I found some cool graffiti fonts online and put her name on it. We added a few other graphics, hope you can see them on the image below, click it to enlarge.

Good Lookin Group!

A quick collage I put together of some of the images from our Branson trip. Most of these images were taken by The Boss, she's not a half bad little paparazzi! Unfortunately some people are missing, they must of hid from the camera.

At the Pool

The kids spent most of our Branson Vacation in the hotel pool. Bryan said "We didn't drive all the way down here for a pool!", but the kids sure thought that was what vacation was for!

It was a pretty small pool but the perfect size for a bunch of cousins to play in. The first day we were only at the pool for a short time before it decided to rain on us, and everyone had to run to the bottom of the big hill in a downpour.

Grandpa and Bertus taking in an afternoon siesta

M
Badger Boy
Little Buddy aka "Captain Goggles"

Bean Pole

Mouse
Big Cousins
Little Cousins

10 candles

She is only an "e" away from being a teen! Get it? Ten, Teen, "e"!?! LOL!! That was on her card she got from us, and according to the older girls it's not funny, but I thought it was cute!

What 10th birthday would be complete without the relighting candles? Only thing is she has a bit of a temper and was not at all happy about it. We thought it was hilarious though!

Broken.....again!

Miss Brainy is destined to be in a cast and on crutches all summer. She broke her ankle again, in a different spot, on 4th of July. We went to see the specialist today and he wants her to be in her walking boot for 4-6 weeks or get a cast next week. She has plans to go with her dad's family rafting and boating next week so the Dr. suggested a gortex cast. I will call to see what that is exactly and maybe get one put on so that she can swim on their trip. Poor girl was only out of the boot for 2 weeks. The dr. said that being in the cast before made her bones weak and she was probably walking different than normal when she stepped off a curb which caused the break. I asked again if he thought she had brittle bones or needed more calcium and he said her bones looked fine, but I think she will be taking a supplement (as will her sisters) just to be cautious.

We leave on wed. to go to Branson for a little R&R with Bryan's family. His family from Arkansas is coming up to meet up there, so it should be a good time. Plenty of cousins for the kids to play with!

It's a Bird. It's a Plane. No it's...

Not so Super Bryan! I did not tilt this image at all, it is of Bryan jumping on the trampoline and then falling down. He is such a goof!

Father/Son Silhouette

I finally got the chance to get a silhouette of Bryan and Little Buddy yesterday on Father's Day (how fitting)! I took some of Bertus and AlleyCat also, but I think they might go on my new website so I will wait to share them.

Fireworks

Homestead Days Fireworks weren't nearly as exciting as previous years, but Little Buddy really liked them. Normally they are held at Chautauqua Park, but this year due to flooding they held them at the fair grounds. This sounded like a great place to have it, but there were races going on at the same time. So instead of being able to sit on blankets and in lawn chairs and watch them in complete darkness, we sat with behind power lines and sheds in front of us, and street lights shining right next to us, while everyone in the race stands was able to sit in complete darkness and see them perfectly. Oh well there is always next year!

Fu Panda... is fa weet

Yep you read that right no typo there! We are heading out to see Kung Fu Panda (aka:Fu Panda in Little Buddy language) tonight with the fam! Upon hearing this Sawyer announced very loudly "Fa Weet", or Sweet in Little Buddy-ese! What do I get out of these deal? A clean van!