Friday, August 29, 2008

A Little Potty Humor

I found this on another photography blog and thought it was rather fitting since we are a family with 4 women. Enjoy!
When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors. Every cubicle is occupied.> Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle. You get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!> The dispenser for the modern ’seat covers’ (invented by someone’s Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!) down with your pants and assume ‘ The Stance.> In this position, your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but having not taken time to wipe the seat or to lay toilet paper on it, you hold ‘The Stance.’> To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.> In your mind, you can hear your mother’s voice saying, ‘Dear, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!’ Your thighs shake more.> You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that’s still in your bag (the bag around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do, so you crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It’s still smaller than your thumbnail.> Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work.> The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet.> ‘Occupied!’ you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, while losing your footing altogether and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.> You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because you’re certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, ‘You just don’t KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.> By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs and into your shoes.> The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force and you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.> At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You’re exhausted. You try to wipe with a sweet wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.> You can’t figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting> You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?)> You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly, ‘Here, you just might need this.> As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men’s toilet. Annoyed, he asks, ‘What took you so long and why is your bag hanging around your neck?> This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with any public rest rooms/toilets (rest??? you’ve GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers that other commonly asked question about why women go to the toilets in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Because he thinks I complain too much

I want to publicly announce that my husband is actually working on my kitchen floor as I type this. Looks like I will finally have a finished floor, no more shopvac"ing" the gaps between tiles, a floor I can actually mop!!! Hopefully images of the final project will be posted soon!
He is also promising to work on my new studio Sunday!! Hope he isn't coming down with something. I will go check his temperature!

Monday, August 18, 2008


Kids are in school! (thank goodness)
Miss Brainy got her cast off, will be in the boot for 3 weeks.
Little Buddy has a nasty eye infection.
The Chatterbox is trying out for another play.
Life is crazy!!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Willy Wonka Pictures

The Chatterbox brought home the c.d.'s with the images from the play last night so I thought I would get a few on here. I did not take these and I'm not sure who to credit them to, sorry. This was probably one of my favorite parts of the play, the choreography for this was very well done and the kids really knew what they were doing in the dark to put this giant spider together.
The chorus line.
The Chatterbox's singing solo!!
Veruca Salt and the squirrels
Here's The Chatterbox again!

The Chatterbox as part of the spider, she played many parts in this play, a squirrel, part of the river,a Candy Kid, and a spider leg.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Willy Wonka

I was able to go see the play that The Chatterbox is in, both Thursday and Friday nights. It was an awesome production. The kids really do a great job and you can tell the ones who truly love what they are doing. The Chatterbox was a Candy Kid, part of a spider, a chocolate river, a chef, and a squirrel. The little squirrel costumes were so cute, I will try to get a picture of her in it tomorrow. I was so proud of her as she had a small singing solo and a little bit of a tongue twister line. I wasn't able to get any pictures at the production, but they will be sending home a c.d. of images from the dress rehearsals and practices so I will try to get a few up here as soon as I can.

Little Buddy is 3

We had Little Buddy's Birthday Party last Sunday at Bryan's Parents house. Bryan and his Dad were in charge of the grill, so we had BBQ Ribs, shrimp-n-bacon, pepper poppers, grilled onions, and mushrooms. I decided to make his cake this year, so we didn't run the risk of an allergic reaction on at his party. As I was finishing up decorating the cake I accidentally dropped it and had to spend another hour "fixing" it. It doesn't look to bad in the pictures but I can tell where I had to fix it. The top or racetrack area actually splint in two and I had to Dr. it up as best as I could, with a ton of frosting. Ace of cakes I am not!!

He loved his pinata which was suppose to open up by pulling on the strings but all but one string fell out so we let them beat it with a bat. Badger Boy ended up breaking it open.